So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
