Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
