If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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