IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
This baby is an asshole
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
