she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
