She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Randomize
