My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Randomize
