i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
