White coat. Heels.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
We need to rekindle our bromance
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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