what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
