This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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