I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
