saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
