btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
