Have you finally orgasmed yet?
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
