There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
