Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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