remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
