if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
