I wanna bring you to show and tell
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
soo... how was my night?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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