what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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