So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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