Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
