they need to just BURY HIM!
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
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