I think I am morally bankrupt
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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