I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
