The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
