He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
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