He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
