So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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