their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
