yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
