just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
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He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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