Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
