I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
