dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
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he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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