i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize