I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
