dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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