Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
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