i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
