Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
