I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
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