i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
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