I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Randomize
