ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
