She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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