woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
