I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
