Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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