its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
