You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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