you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
