You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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