Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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