Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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