I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
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I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
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I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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