If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
you traded sex for a burrito?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
