im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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