Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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