Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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