sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
