so that wasnt chicken after all
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Randomize
