ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
PS: I just woke up from my shower
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
