i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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