I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
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