Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
She's the barista slut.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
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my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
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This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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