Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
