She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
