if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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