I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
