and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
