hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Randomize
